I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
