there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We need a shit load of segways right now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
