Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
