I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
