Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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