Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
