Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If I had your ass I would rule the world
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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