Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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