1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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