so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
