i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
