No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
