I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize