They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
