Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you never un-have a 4some
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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