If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
