it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
