Don't you send me to vm
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
