she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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