I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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