I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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