we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
