Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize