Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize