K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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