My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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