***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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