scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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