marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
