why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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