If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
