I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
