Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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