Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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