dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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