I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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