That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
