I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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