It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
