the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
