I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
