covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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