Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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(703): View more from Virginia

No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(831): View more from California

I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM

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(727): View more from Florida

If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?

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