if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
