why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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