you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
