Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
