That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
