i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Congratulations! We have a period
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