all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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