My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
