i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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