Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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