he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I party with great urgency now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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