My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
