Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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