We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
