They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
