3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize