Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
