I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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