I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
