after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if i died would you start the facebook group?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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