who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i've created a new STD.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
