Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
